To Be Loved Without Restraint
by Kuro-Shi-Kage
Summary: Hermione and Severus visit the Black House and their lives change- hopefully for the better


_V has been defeated. SS + SB are alive (as are RL, NT + FW). HG is dating SS after the war 5 years ago. She loves him. SB is back at the Black House and TOotP often throw parties there._

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><p>It was odd how they got together; the Greasy Git and the Know-It-All. She had made sure, during her seventh year that she or some remembrance of her was always there, whichever way he turned. She respected him too much to just throw herself at him – no matter how much she wanted to- and knew how much Hogwarts meant to him so she couldn't seduce him, at least not while she was still a student. Graduation couldn't come fast enough.<p>

Her potions lessons were torture. Hearing his silky voice purring even when handing out detention was enough to provoke fantasies no independent woman should have. And his hands; Oh his hands! Pale and slim with long fingers that were agile and made her think of a musician. She had thought to do her final project based on potions but after just one lesson with him she realised that although it was interesting and would have given her a chance to get to know the dark man, it was probably safer for her sanity not to spend too much time in close proximity. Therefore she chose a project in History of Magic which would touch on Potions.

It is true he would never be a gorgeous man but in her eyes his mind definitely made up for it. Conversations about potions for her projects became conversations on books, both muggle and magical, and she learnt a great deal about her teacher and how to appreciate his special brand of dark humour and dry wit. Even when she finished picking his brain for the project she would return at the same time every week to talk about anything and everything- the only exceptions being the War and his childhood. It was so wonderful for her to talk to someone who could talk and debate intelligently without childish insults being thrown in. Admittedly sometimes the debates became heated as both were stubborn, however both were clever enough to find faults in either their own or each others defence.

He could make her laugh, Such a little thing but it seemed to surprise him more than her when he made a snide remark about Trelawney and her subject and she threw her head back and laughed. The look of shock and surprise on his face dampened her laughter until she was just smiling, she didn't want to call him on it and continued to ask him what he really thought of the other teachers and promised it would go no further. She was questioned several times over the weekend by Harry, Ron and Ginny when she spontaneously burst into giggles and she couldn't even look at the staff table at meals when Trelawney sat next to Snape.

When the day of graduation was set she realised that the ball that night would clash with her weekly chats with her professor. She worried about it all night wondering wheat she should do, she decided that she would dress up and go (Ron had commandeered her as a 'date') but if he wasn't there in the ball at the time of their talks she would descend to the dungeons to tell him how fantastic it was to talk to him and to say goodbye as she was taking on a job at the ministry until she could find and settle a job at Hogwarts. Plan of action in mind she prepared herself for a day of torture at the hands of her dorm-mates and Ginny.

Ron was speechless when he met her in the common room his family behind him. They were a mismatched pair she in her black dress with red roses climbing from the floor hitting hem to her waist with an emerald green serpent shimmering under the plant, her hair done to perfection and make-up dusted lightly on her face and him in his garish robes ("well one of us had to be colourful.", "As if your language won't be enough Ronald") and un-brushed hair. She forced a smile onto her face and tried not to grimace when Ron pulled her up against him for a photo. Harry gave her a small smile and intervened on her behalf so they could all get down to the hall on time.

On their way they were stopped and greeted by many friends and their magical families. Unfortunately before they could escape to the hall they were spotted and waylaid by the Malfoy family. All of them took delight in loudly pointing out the serpent on the hem of her dress and just as loudly began to speculate. Just as Dumbledore and the heads of Gryffindor and Slytherin arrived to possibly step in before one of the Weasley's lost their temper the Malfoy family stepped back and Lucius nonchalantly asked "A snake Miss Granger? How very Slytherin don't you think?" She just raised an eyebrow and wrenching her arm from Ron's possessive grip, took a step forward away from the Weasley's, Harry, the Lupins and Sirius towards the Malfoy's.

"Beware where the sleeping serpent lies. Good evening professors."

The evening had gone well but she was suffocated by Ron and his odour that seemed unable to release her. She suggested many times that she would like some fresh air but his excuse was that Malfoy had his eyes on her, he did but Ron should have known that she could handle herself (she did punch the boy in their third year). Eventually Lavender sashayed up and pushing her cleavage into Ron's arm and asked for a dance. Remus promised to keep an eye on her for him and Ron disappeared into the throng. Giving an excuse to Remus about wanting fresh air and with thanks to his wife for her willingness to distract the Defence Against the Dark Arts professor.

She left the hall and swiftly made her way to the dungeons. The cool air lifted the hair on her bare arms but she ignored it getting sown there was so much more important. She arrived at Severus' offices and stood at his open door waiting for him to look up at her before continuing the debate from their last meeting. Something was different this time and he seemed not to be thinking his arguments through and got angry very quickly. Next thing she knew she had physically thrown herself at him and they were kissing, passionately.

That had been the rocky beginning of their relationship, he had admitted he was jealous of the 'Weasley boy' that evening and so had left early. He was , however, surprised at her actions and although over the last five years their relationship had progressed and they were sleeong together as well as spending some holidays and weekends at each others residences. All throughout the relationship Severus had been unsure of her affection towards him and her admirationlove towards others. Ron was not the only male Severus was wary of, Ron was only at the edge of his awareness and his biggest threat was the order's resident playboy and the one who knew the best wat to rile Severus and always looked for more ways, Severus wasn't just wary of him. Sirius Black was a constant threat.

They had been invited to another Order party and they would go even if it was just to show their faces for a few minutes before leaving. This always happened. She and Severus would arrive for the party, they would be the happy couple until Sirius dragged her away to talk to Harry. Not that she minded talking to her friend, just the lustful glances from Ron (even when he had his hand up his wife's skirt or down her top) was disgusting and the look on Severus' face when she saw him alone in a dark corner whilst she was chatting to her friends was heart-breaking.

Tonight, however, she was going to make it different. Hermione was just as eager (if not more so) to get home and have time just for them. Therefore she studiously ignored Ron, which wasn't difficult due to his own stupidity, and she told Ginny and Harry she couldn't stay long. She refused the glass of fire whisky Remus offered her and gave a sheepish smile in return to Ginny's searching look. They had arrived later than usual and so many of the guests were already on their way to getting drunk, Sirius not least of all. He came up and slung a heavy arm around her shoulders ignoring Ron's misplaced possessive frown. Hermione herself narrowed her eyes at him but as he didn't move she returned to sipping the water she had requested. Ginny had escaped her husband and slipped off to visit Severus in the shadows, who was flanked (to his disgust) by the Weasley twins.

In a quick move which surprised anyone looking in their direction, Sirius turned Hermione to him and kissed her and tried to encourage her to reciprocate. Silence fell on the room and was punctuated by a strong slap. The Weasley twins had grabbed both of Snape's arms which stopped him from sweeping from the room whilst Ginny openly gaped. Everyone had looks of shock on their faces that only grew as they noticed Hermione's wand was in her hand and she was poking it into Sirius' chest. Anger was apparent on her face and the surprise on Sirius' was also changing to anger.

"What the hell!"

"Don't you dare try that again Black! It isn't welcome, you can't just grab a woman and kiss her. Especially if you know they are in a relationship and most definitely when it is me!" After a deep calming breath she nodded to Harry and blinking tears from her eyes flung herself past everyone and out of the room. All eyes turned to the restrained Severus.

"Just when I think I can't hate you anymore..." he shrugged the twins hands off himself and followed Hermione out.

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><p>Severus was unsure – not for the first time since Hermione started a relationship between them-did he go after the obviously distraught woman or not. If he did she might take it as pity and her tears would turn to hexes or on the other hand take it as his jealousy and possessiveness and she might still take it as a bad thing and he would still get hexed. On the other-hand if he didn't go she might think he couldn't care less and she would, Merlin forbid, pity him for his emotionless response. Severus hated pity.<p>

Teetering on the edge of the doorstep of 12 Grimmauld Place still undecided and as he twisted to apparate he saw the red heads of Mrs Potter and the Weasley twins, and he made the split-second decision to retreat to his dark home and wallow alone. On the walk from the gates back up to the school all he could see was Black grabbing Hermione and kissing her, but his mind distorted the image and soon Hermione was reciprocating and enjoying it. He swept into the school, robes billowing, and descended into his dark rooms.

Balancing in the doorway of his room he looked in shock at the pale from lying spread on her stomach in only her underwear on his dark sheets. It was a welcome sight to his hormones – he was a man damn it!- but he was unsure what to do. When his presence didn't seem to provoke any movement he tentatively moved forward and slipping off his robes and shoes sat against the pillows crossing his ankles. And waited.

"Mmphmph" She couldn't see him but she knew he had raised one sleek black eyebrow.

"I'm sorry." She turned her head towards him, her eyes were red and there were traces of tears on her face. One of her delicate hands lay on the sheets in the space between them and she had her eyes cast away from him, ashamed and reluctant to look at him.

"It is not your fault that Black is such a child."

"Not that. I'm sorry we went – you never want to go and I didn't feel up to it this evening either. I'm sorry that Sirius is jealous," his second eyebrow joined the first as she turned her eyes to him earnestly, "I'm sorry I'm an emotional wreck. I'm sorry we got drunk at the last party and forgot the charms. And I'm sorry for crying all over your lovely, comfy bed.

Hermione gasped for breath as she finished in a rush. She bit her lip and looked at Severus through her long lashes. To his credit he didn't seem to have been shocked at her words, she assumed this was because he was still separating them or because his years as a spy had made him immune to such things. She began to gnaw on her lip in earnest as the silence grew. Without looking at her Severus stretched out his long, pale fingers and grasped her chin using his thumb to pull her lower lip from between her teeth.

"Your words were very Slytherin for a Gryffindor." He murmured. She clenched her teeth and pulling her face from his rather surprisingly strong, thin fingers she sat up and throwing a leg over him straddled his lap. At her show of angry dominance he quickly became aroused and his nimble fingers rose to divest her of the little she had on. Hermione however had other plans and she batted his hands away before slapping them to the side and looking staring into his dark smouldering eyes.

"I'm pregnant. Gryffindor enough for you?"

Now he was shocked as his hands fell limply to his sides and the fire in his eyes was dampened. In her anger Hermione ignored all of this and slipped off his lap and wandered round the bed to find her clothes. She was dressed and on her way to the door in tears thinking he didn't want them before he came to his senses and lunging off the bed scooped her from her feet before sitting back down with her in his lap and comforted her and soothed her struggling until she had stopped crying and was calm.

They sat together in tense silence, he holding her close and she curled up clutching at his clothes.

"When did you find out? How far along are you?" His voice rumbled in his chest and unintentionally warmed her.

"Yesterday; while you were brewing. Then Albus called you for the staff meeting and I didn't see you before bed and I was up helping Molly and Ginny with the food for the party. Two months." She felt tears begin to sting her eyes and so closed them and turned further into his warmth.

Severus held her more securely in his arms, staring at the door to his bedroom. He was a rational man and always thought things through carefully-as a potions master he had to be very careful and as a man he was very graceful and nothing was wasted in any of his movements. So far he could see that Hermione really didn't want the affections of Black, she wanted to keep the baby even if it was unplanned and she was terrified of what he would think.

If he was completely honest with himself he didn't know what he was thinking. He wanted Hermione, he know that, but did he want the baby? Could he really live with one and not the other. His grip was becoming more fierce and possessive the more he thought about not having Hermione.

"When I was very little I thought it would be wonderful to have a child of my own. I suppose as a child I hadn't thought I would grow up and so the child would be a playmate rather than a responsibility. Then as I grew up I wasn't treated very well and was told I was a waste." Hermione clutched at him shaking her head furiously. "And so I began to think that I would not be able to look after my own child and then after a few years at school..." Severus petered off and shrugged sullenly, "with people like Black and Potter, and even Lupin, I realised that women wouldn't want a child with me. Therefore I don't really know what I want. I know I want you but the child..."

Hermione with much difficulty, prised herself away from Severus' comforting warmth. She quickly wiped away all traces of tears and quickly wandlessly summoned a handkerchief to blow her nose. She sighed pushing as much of her hair as would consent to move from her petite face.

"I don't quite know what to say," Hermione began, "I think I should start with a fact – you should know that both of us will love you." She stopped and waited for the inevitable smirk and wasn't disappointed. "I love you, and if you are making me choose between you and a child that has been created between us- accident or not- I don't quite know how to answer."

"If you had told me before... that you loved me I would have married you."

"And now you won't even ask?"

"We're having a child, I think it's slightly redundant to ask." Hermione closed her eyes and took a couple of deep breaths forcing herself not to surrender to her hormones and temper and become angry.

"A woman always likes to be asked Severus, and I don't want you to ask if it is just because I am pregnant." Severus moved down the bed so he was in the centre and could see Hermione's face. His eyes danced across her face drinking in her features. His mind running through her personality traits. He reached forward and took one of her hands in his.

"Hermione, I've been alone for so long and find myself reluctant to let you go. Will you marry me and become my life partner? Will you have many little potion brewers and know-it-alls to torment the teachers at Hogwarts before they have their own? Will you show me that it is acceptable for me to be happy?"

"Yes, yes, and Severus you are so much better than for it to just be acceptable. You deserve it and I will spend the rest of my life proving it to you." Hermione cupped his pale face between her hands and rested her forehead against his temple, her hands slipping slowly down to rest on his chest."I love you more than words can say. No-one will be able to understand and I am fine with that, as long as we aren't forced apart I will live very happily."

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><p>Ginny of course was not shocked by the news and Albus' eyes twinkled merrily ("It's always nice to see students fall in love"). Minerva and Molly opened their mouths to object and swiftly closed them when Harry stepped forward to congratulate them (you're more possessive over her than I thought possible so nothing would harm her from 'outside forces' and I fell you would hurt more if you ever hurt her). Sirius shook his head not understanding while Tonks and Remus smiled softly and laced their fingers together. The twins embraced Hermione and after a quick shared grin they tag teamed Severus and gave him a hug too.<p>

Ron predictably blew up.


End file.
